Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
