hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
