Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
