I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
