He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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