11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
