Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Everclear isn't food dammit
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
