Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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