One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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