We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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