It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
