Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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