I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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