Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
