I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
