You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
