I hope mine doesn't look like that
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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