Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
