How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
