I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
