im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
