I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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