I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
