Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
420 ftw
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
