How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
