hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
