Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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