Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
