I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
