i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
