It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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