I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
