How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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