R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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