We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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