I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
