The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
