Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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