so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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