I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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