porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Less talking, more tequila
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
