Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
