last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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