He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
