Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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