I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
