I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
