It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
