Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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