You smell like a Billy Joel song
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
