my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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