he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
false alarm, still single
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